4 ways I know fear is messing you up big time and how to avoid it.
Nothing makes you self-sabotage as much as fear. These past few months I have been thrown into so many new opportunities and it shocked me because I had always dreamed about getting them.
It was so much of a big deal that I started asking if I was good enough to be paid for the work I was putting out.
Two months into an internship, one of the opportunities, I noticed a trend. No matter how many self-development quotes or life hacks books I read I always got scared to put myself out there for better opportunities.
This is why I know firsthand 4 indications when fear is the cause of your issue with moving forward in your life. In no definite order, they are below
You are being paranoid.
You constantly try to make yourself believe that something will or is currently going wrong with a decision you want to make. Most times before you are able to think of it logically you have already fallen deep into the belief of your mind’s really ridiculous notions.
This will keep you in your current situation. Not moving back or forward. That is the thing with fear. It freezes you.
You take too long to make up your mind.
Have you found yourself taking your sweet time making a decision that should take you no time at all?
Let us say you need to choose a shirt for an interview on Monday and today is Friday. You spend the whole of Friday thinking of how you want to look at the interview. Saturday is for looking at the psychology of colour charts and choosing what emotion you want to evoke in your interviewers.
Sunday you keep the Lord’s day holy. It is the Lord's day after all. Monday morning comes and you are panicking that you still have nothing to wear and your fear-ridden mind takes over and tells you, “Sit this one out. If you are too overwhelmed, you will probably mess up. Others will come.”
Others might come as your mind has told you but what if the same thing that happened right here happens with the others?
You make excuses.
Just like in the example above your mind came up with the excuse that ‘You will be too overwhelmed and mess up.’
The one thing I must say here is that you will never know until you try it. You will not know you will be overwhelmed if you never went for the interview. You don’t know if the business will fail if you don’t start. You have to start to know, you have to do it to know.
You procrastinate.
The fearful man procrastinates a lot. Putting off what you are meant to do with flimsy excuses or no explanation at all is a common way fear manifests itself.
The next time you catch yourself putting off all your tasks until it gets to when you just have to get it done, stop and search yourself for what you are afraid of. I did that and I found out I was afraid of getting so much recognition and still failing.
After looking at these four ways fear tries to call the shots it is only right I give you some avoidance tactics. So how do you avoid fear from taking over you and clouding your clear vision?
First things first AFFIRM.
Affirmations have this ability to remind you of your reality or what you imagine as your reality. For all who do not know what affirmations are-They are words or sentences put together that motivate you consciously and unconsciously by going into your unconscious mind. This is effective when you repeat the affirmations frequently.
Try asking yourself questions.
Questions like, ‘Why will my time be different?’
‘What makes theirs better than mine?’
‘Do they hold the keys to success in this area?’
‘What is the worst that can happen?’
Questions like these will shake you up. It will make you consider that the people you look up to and wish to be are human like you and the only difference is that they did not let fear stop them from going for whatever it is they want.
When you are asking yourself these questions be sure to provide truthful answers.
Last but definitely not least…
Do it scared.
This particular hack is really popular now. In your fear still, do whatever it is you want to do. The worst that can happen is that you fail. That’s not a new thing.
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